Why Habits Matter
If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of doing something only to notice you didn’t really even realize you were doing it, chances are you were engaging in a habit.
A habit is something you do automatically without even thinking about it. Habits use a piece of our brain that puts us on autopilot so we have more energy and reserve for the other things in our life we have to do. The more tasks we can turn into habit, the more we can accomplish on autopilot and protect our reserves.
During the course of a 24 hour day, each of us only has a certain amount of energy or reserve at our disposal for the multiple tasks we’re required to accomplish. When we find ourselves doing something that’s hard or pushing us, we’re draining that reserve at a higher rate.
Think of the analogy of car. When we’re driving at the same speed unencumbered by multiple stops, traffic or red lights, like on a highway, we use our fuel much more efficiently, tapping into the power of momentum.
But when we’re in the height of traffic or in a residential area full of stop signs and traffic lights, we’re stopping and starting repeatedly, burning through that fuel tank to keep us going. And when the tank is running on empty, it has to be refilled.
Think of this relative to the times in our lives when we need to get something done but can’t muster the attention or energy to get it done. It’s because we haven’t filled our tanks. It’s during times like these that the power of habit can effectively come into play.
Once formed and truly established, habits don’t drain the tank - or at least much less - than for the things you have to muster a lot of energy for.
But, like most good things in life, habits are not formed overnight. Everything good in our lives is the result of consistent action taken slowly over time.
Habits make up 40% of the behaviours we do daily so it stands to reason that adding in better habits can make a big difference quickly. Even just a tiny improvement by way of habit adds up to a huge change and huge increase in our ability to do other things.
Habits literally change our lives. Who you become is ultimately changed by what you repeatedly do.
So why do so many people fail when it comes to creating better habits? And why do some habits stick and some don’t?
These are the most common reasons habits fail:
We make them too big. The bigger the change from what you’re doing to what you want to be doing, the harder it will be to make stick and can set you up to fail. You’ve got to start small.
We make them too hard, too complicated, too unpleasant or take too much effort. If it feels hard or frustrating, it’s not going to happen automatically.
We try to change too many things at once. This happens a lot at the beginning of a new year. If something takes too much energy it will ultimately fail.
There’s no instant gratification. We try to establish a habit but don’t give ourselves any type of reward. It’s important to factor in a reward at the end of any new habit we want to create.
Giving up after making a few missteps - you’ve got to keep going.
Overbooking your schedule so you don’t give yourself enough time or energy to establish a good habit.
Allowing exceptions. The more exceptions to the rule you allow, the less likely you are to stick to the habit and ending up short circuiting your efforts.
Failing to recognize that it takes awhile for a habit to be on autopilot. Habits actually take a lot longer than the 21 days that are commonly perceived. A real habit usually takes 60-90 days to be set in stone.
Habit packing or trying to establish too many habits at once. Habits aren’t your to-do list.
It can be very unmotivating to begin something with the best of intentions only to have it fall apart right in front of your eyes. But you can have great success implementing a new habit if you follow a few simple steps.
5 Steps for Creating a New Habit or Breaking a Bad Habit
Create a target - identify the habit you want to create in your life or the habit you want to break. Start small. Remember to be careful - you are choosing a behaviour not an aspiration. Examples of aspirations are I want to be healthier, I want to be fitter. Examples of behaviours are I want to eat more fiber, I want to practice yoga 3 times per week. A behaviour is the thing you actually do. If you’re not sure what new habits to create in your life, don’t force it. Spend some time observing your habits to see if you notice any patterns. Pay close attention to the triggers cueing you to engage in any bad habits and identify the thing you want to change.
Make sure your habit matters. Any change requires being clear about the why. Your why is essential to every significant change you make in your life because it’s what will keep you going when it requires discipline. Every time you drain your tank for one thing, you’re draining it for other things. Why do you want to establish or change a particular behaviour? Why do you want to make this change and what are the benefits of doing it?
Create your prompt. The first thing you need is a cue. What will remind you to act on that behaviour? Maybe it will be the time of day or another already established habit. Keep in mind that your surroundings have a huge impact on your habits, good or bad. Ask yourself what needs to change in your environment to cause the cue to start or stop something?
Make it easy. What can you do to remove the obstacles and make this behaviour as easy as possible? The easier it is, the more likely it will become part of your routine. What tools do you need? Are you starting small enough? What can you do to make the bad habit as hard as possible? Is it online shopping? Put your credit card in a block of ice. Smoking? Throw away your cigarettes. Clear the path of obstacles or cause as many obstacles as possible. Sometimes that means starting really small and gaining momentum - start with 1 push up; floss 1 tooth; rearrange your space; put your workout clothes in the bathroom the night before.
Make sure you establish an immediate reward.
Habits don’t happen overnight.
Go easy on yourself and start small, otherwise you’ll set yourself up for failure if you take on too much all at once.
Let go of perfectionism and the all or nothing mindset. If you fall off the wagon, get back on it. If the road is bumpy, have the persistence and grit to keep going.
Make sure you give it time. Most habits aren’t formed in 21 days. Many take months or longer to establish. Have grace with yourself. It will happen in good time.
