New Year, New Awareness

Do you set new year’s resolutions?  Better yet, do you stick with them?

It’s the time of the year when we set goals about who we want to be, both to ourselves and to the world.  But have you checked in to make sure you’re in alignment with your goals?  If our goals aren’t aligned with who we are and how much we can actually achieve, there’s a better chance that they’ll fail us shortly after we get started.  In fact, statistics show that by January 17th up to 90% of those who’ve made new year’s resolutions have already quit them. That’s a sad stat!

But why do resolutions fail so quickly?  The most common reason is that our goals just aren’t realistic. You may say, I want to lose weight.  You may even attach a big number to it.  You may say you’re going to workout everyday, make every meal at home and never let a potato chip grace your lips again.  So when the middle of January rolls around and the needle on the scale has barely moved, you’ve barely moved and there’s an empty bag of chips beside you on the floor you get frustrated with yourself and give up.

Other reasons also exist around why our resolutions come and go.  If we don’t celebrate our wins and recognize what we did in a day, week or month, we’re measuring the gaps, not the gains. Always celebrate what you’re doing and what you’ve accomplished, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is.

Getting caught in the trap of comparison sabotages our best intentions around setting resolutions.  If we create our goals based on what someone else is doing, their physical appearance or where they’re at in their business for example, we’re creating them based on their goals, not ours.

Oftentimes, resolutions are created from a place of exhaustion.  We’ve gone through a busy year, pushed and pushed.  Overwhelm, lack, fear, and worry may have set in.  But creating from overwhelm is difficult.  We need to dig ourselves out from underneath it so we can see clearly and feel clearly to set goals from a place of groundedness and clear headedness.  

So what’s the solution?

Awareness, specificity and self-care.

Cast your vision for the year from a place of awareness.  Be specific and practice good self-care always. We create more of what we want when we feel good.  In rest and digest our nervous systems are balanced and we’re aligned with our intuitions.  When we give ourselves time and space to reflect, connect, renew, and listen to our intuition and guidance, it allows us to create a life that’s right for us, not just for somebody else.

Set goals that are super specific and not so far out of reach that there’s no chance of them happening. Reframe with specificity.  

Instead of “I want to lose weight” = try “I want to lose one pound a week”.  

Instead of “I’m going to work out everyday” = try “I’ll commit to moving my body 30 minutes a day”. 

Create strategies for action as well as a support system for accountability to uphold them and follow through more successfully.

Then begin to look at the bigger picture.

Evaluate how stuffed your life is. Life is always throwing us curveballs. Life happens and we can’t control it.  Living lives that are so overstuffed doesn’t allow us to make space for ourselves amongst the curveballs.  It’s hard to make space if your life is super stuffed.  Try creating a Stop Doing Inventory by making a list of what you’re ready to stop doing in order to make space for you.  

Be mindful of overstuffing your calendar..  Pull back and give it a haircut.  Get clear on your priorities and your boundaries.  Focus on what really does move the needle in your life.  Choose to do things from a place of joy, not I have to do this.  Have you ever said this to yourself?  “When I get this done, then I’ll have time to live my life.” Or “As soon as this is behind me, then I’ll be able to ….”  Instead, ask yourself what you can delegate.

Assess your yes’s.  When we say yes but really mean no, we find ourselves overpromising and under delivering.  Pause and listen before you respond.  You might need to remind yourself that even though it’s uncomfortable to say no, it’s the right thing to do.

As you think about your goals this year, keep it simple.  Focus on one master goal and the actions that support it versus a whole bunch of small goals.  

And remember to schedule some joy.